行嘉: “完美女性主义者是未来的我们” Xing Jia: “Perfect feminists are the future versions of ourselves.”

行嘉简介：逆反心理极重一女的，医生说我脑子有病抖音不知名吐槽博主，le 圈少女的梦(自封的)，致力于成为知性优雅的姐感富婆。

1. 你第一次意识到“性别不平等”是在什么时候？当时发生了什么？

其实我感觉我开智很晚，我现在回想起来感觉到处都有这个现象，而且我意识不到别人讲话做事的针对性，让我真正开始认真思考这件事起源于大一的时候有个女老师特别魅男，上课不允许女生玩手机，我向她提问题她一脸不耐烦然后上课时间和一个男同学贴在一起刷短视频。而且期末分数会给男生打的偏高，即使有的男生论文写的很烂。后来那个男生谈恋爱了，那个老师居然在上课时间和那个男生讨论他的情感问题，还说“你长得这么帅，你谈恋爱了得有多少小姑娘心碎”在场所有女生都被恶心到了。

2. 你成为女性主义内容创作者的契机是什么？有没有一个“转折点”？

因为我性取向是女生，生活当中本来就会给女生更多关注，自从发现自己喜欢女生跳脱出传统男女叙事之后就发现了太多不平等的诡异事件。我没有办法把男女传统恋爱观带入到感情当中，但是我的前任们和我谈恋爱会自动带入男性视角，这显得更奇怪了我实在是百思不得其解，转折点就是受不了第一任女朋友是精神男人，她出轨了居然说的是男人的经典台词：我只是犯了全天下人都会犯的错。

3.在抖音上做女性主义内容，你觉得最大的挑战是什么？

我觉得现在女性主义的视频都蛮新颖的，大家的角度都很棒，我的视频手法都太直接了，我为我时常找不到更加新奇美妙的角度来阴阳怪气地创作而感到自惭形秽。

4. 你的视频很多是从很细微的生活瞬间出发的，你通常是怎么“捕捉到”这些瞬间的？有没有一件很日常的小事，后来却让你重新理解了性别这件事？

我不是一下子就捕捉到的，很多事情其实并不浅显也不明确，不平等已经渗透到 生活方方面面了，像手指上的倒刺，就是很小的事情但是让人翻来覆去的不适。我很讨厌别人说你应该为了谁去做什么事，比如会有父母教育女儿说你不做家务以后可嫁不出去，没有父母教育儿子说你不做家务以后娶不到老婆的。

5.当你从一个生活细节中意识到“这其实是性别问题”，你是怎么把它转化成一个视频的？

我不觉得完全是性别问题，我觉得是因为阶级问题杂糅着性别问题让大家觉得习以为常，包括分化男女产生男尊女卑本质就是古代统治的一种手段，细化到生活中让大家更好接受洗脑所以制造矛盾把它变成生活细节，现在阶级矛盾和性别矛盾已经分不开了。包括我那条“询问闺蜜男朋友三个问题”的视频最后借用奴隶和奴隶主的关系也是因为离不开阶级矛盾，但是在公众平台大谈矛盾本身容易被和谐，用这个公式将生活细节带入反而更能让人引起共鸣，因为大家或多或少都遇到过类似的事情，所以大家更能一下子就接受。

6. 你觉得目前中国女性最迫切需要被讨论的问题是什么？为什么？

基础生活保障问题。支持卫生巾自由，支持保障男女职场同薪，保障女性生育选择及生育成本报销，保护女性婚内人身安全，保护女性的学习环境和职场不被生育和他人干预等一系列最基础的可以落地的政策。因为出现问题就要改正，女性的问题就是人类的问题，这关乎着人类未来走向，更好的发展需要系统的政策去落实。

7.作为一名女同性恋，你觉得自己的情感经验有没有改变你看待性别关系的方式？

可以说自从发现自己喜欢女人就发现了讨厌异性的根源，因为之前不谈恋爱就是对男人爱不起来，因为我总觉得他们没什么值得喜欢的，这世界爱男比爱我多多了，我总是更水仙更自恋下意识更爱自己。之前总觉得男人什么样和我无关别来沾边，后来发现我喜欢的女人或多或少都被父权制荼毒了，女人的身体套着男人的壳子，我实在无法接受一张美丽的脸下面是一朵奇葩。

8.你觉得很多人把女性主义理解错的地方在哪里？这种误解在日常生活中会以什么形式出现？

我觉得大家需要先建立理解，很多人都不理解并不是理解错了。如果一定要说错误的理解就是很多人觉得女性主义是挑起性别对立，我们只是基础生活都没有得到保障，是在争取权益，这是社会发展的必然结果罢了。这种误解比比皆是，比如互联网随处可见。

9.在抖音上谈性别问题，你觉得哪些议题是特别难被展开的？你觉得平台更容易放大哪一类性别叙事？又压制了哪一类？

所有议题往前倒回两年都很难展开，现在是2026年，你很难想象这个话题在2024年发出去就会被立刻抬走，现在展开了是因为传播速度太快了说的人太多了压不住了。之前刷的最让人恶心的还猛猛推流的就是物化女性的视频，男性幻想当中的女性形象被娱乐化严重，抖音博主阿喵翻拍的所有视频的那些原创就是被放大的，有一点反驳意见都会被压制。

10.如果有一天你不再做这些内容了，你希望观众记住你什么？

很难想象我不做这些内容，因为吐槽两句就是随手的事儿。做这个内容是因为我这个账号本来是颜值赛道来的，奈何好看的人太多了而且我苦心经营的颜值视频没有随手一发的吐槽受人喜欢，我本来以为我吐槽的事情大家都知道，因为我从小被说“没脑子”和“花瓶”已经习惯了，我总觉得是个人都比我聪明，如果一定要记住就记住我是一个尖酸刻薄的美女吧。

11.你心目中有完美的“女性主义者”吗？

未来的我们。

Introduction:

Xingjia is a girl with an extremely strong rebellious streak. A doctor once told me my brain was “problematic.” An unknown ranting creator on Douyin. A lesbian-circle girl’s dream (self-proclaimed). Dedicated to becoming an intellectually elegant, sophisticated, wealthy woman.

1. When did you first realize that “gender inequality” existed? What happened?

Honestly, I feel like I became aware of it quite late. Looking back now, I realize there were signs everywhere, but at the time I couldn’t recognize that people’s words and actions were targeted in certain ways.

What made me seriously start thinking about this was during my first year of university. There was a female professor who was extremely male-centered. She didn’t allow female students to use their phones in class, but when I asked her questions, she looked extremely impatient. Meanwhile, during class, she sat close with a male student and watched short videos with him.

She also tended to give male students higher grades, even when some of their papers were poorly written. Later, that male student started dating someone, and the professor actually spent class time discussing his relationship problems with him. She even said things like, “You’re so handsome; now that you’re dating someone, how many girls’ hearts must you have broken?”

All the girls in the room felt disgusted.

2. What made you become a feminist content creator? Was there a specific turning point?

Because I’m attracted to women, I naturally paid more attention to women in my daily life. After realizing that I liked women and stepping outside the traditional heterosexual relationship narrative, I started noticing so many strange inequalities.

I couldn’t automatically apply traditional ideas about relationships between men and women to my own experiences, but my ex-girlfriends would sometimes unconsciously bring a male perspective into our relationship, which felt incredibly strange. I honestly couldn’t understand it.

The turning point was when I couldn’t tolerate my first girlfriend being a “spiritual man” anymore. She cheated on me and actually used the classic line men often say:

“I just made the mistake that everyone in the world makes.”

3. As a feminist content creator on Douyin, what is the biggest challenge?

I think feminist videos nowadays are actually very creative. Everyone has such interesting perspectives. My own style is too direct, and I often feel ashamed that I can’t find more subtle, beautiful, and sarcastic ways to express my ideas.

4. Many of your videos start from tiny everyday moments. How do you “capture” these moments? Is there a small daily thing that later changed how you understood gender?

I don’t immediately notice these things. Many forms of inequality are actually not obvious or explicit. They have already seeped into every aspect of daily life.

Like a hangnail on your finger—it’s a tiny thing, but it creates this constant, irritating discomfort.

I really dislike when people say you should do something “for someone else.” For example, some parents tell their daughters:

“If you don’t know how to do housework, you’ll never get married.”

But no parents tell their sons:

“If you don’t know how to do housework, you’ll never find a wife.”

5. When you realize a daily detail is actually related to gender, how do you transform it into a video?

I don’t think everything is purely a gender issue. I think it’s often a combination of class issues and gender issues that makes these things seem normal.

The division between men and women, and the creation of male dominance over women, was originally a tool of ancient social control. By turning these ideas into everyday conflicts, people accepted them more easily.

Nowadays, class conflict and gender conflict are already intertwined.

For example, in my video about “asking your best friend’s boyfriend three questions,” I referenced the relationship between slaves and slave owners at the end because it connects to class issues.

But directly discussing social conflicts on public platforms is often difficult, so using everyday situations as an entry point makes it easier for people to relate. Everyone has experienced something similar, so they can immediately understand.

6. What issue facing Chinese women today do you think most urgently needs discussion? Why?

Basic living security.

I support menstrual product accessibility, equal pay between men and women, protecting women’s choices regarding childbirth and covering reproductive costs, protecting women’s physical safety within marriage, and ensuring women’s educational and workplace environments are not controlled by expectations around marriage, childbirth, or others’ decisions.

When problems exist, they need to be fixed. Women’s issues are human issues. They affect the future direction of humanity.

Better development requires real systems and policies to be implemented.

7. As a lesbian woman, do you think your emotional experiences have changed how you view gender relationships?

You could say that realizing I liked women made me understand the root of why I disliked men.

Before dating, I just couldn’t fall in love with men. I always felt like there was nothing about them that attracted me. The world already loves men so much more than it loves me, so I naturally became more self-loving and even a little narcissistic—I loved myself more.

Before, I thought whatever men were like had nothing to do with me. “Just don’t come near me.”

But later I realized that the women I loved were also, to some extent, affected by patriarchy.

Women’s bodies were carrying a “man-made” shell, and I couldn’t accept seeing a beautiful face hiding a completely strange and distorted mindset underneath.

8. What do you think people misunderstand about feminism? How does this misunderstanding appear in daily life?

I think many people first need to build a basic understanding. A lot of people don’t actually misunderstand feminism—they simply don’t understand it.

If I had to name one misconception, it would be that many people think feminism is about creating conflict between genders.

But we are simply fighting for basic rights and protections. It is a natural result of social development.

This misunderstanding appears everywhere online.

9. When discussing gender issues on Douyin, what topics are especially difficult to talk about? What kinds of gender narratives does the platform amplify or suppress?

Two years ago, almost every topic was difficult to discuss.

It’s 2026 now, and it’s hard to imagine that if you posted about these topics in 2024, your content could immediately disappear.

Now these discussions happen because information spreads too quickly and too many people are talking about them to completely suppress.

Before, some of the most disgusting content that still received huge traffic was content that objectified women. The female image created through male fantasies was heavily commercialized and turned into entertainment.

Many of the original ideas behind the videos recreated by Douyin creator A Miao were examples of this. Even mild criticism was often suppressed.

10. If one day you stopped making this kind of content, what would you want your audience to remember?

It’s hard to imagine stopping because complaining about things is something I do casually.

Originally, my account was actually focused on appearance and beauty content. But there are too many beautiful people, and the videos I carefully created about my appearance never performed as well as my random rants.

I originally thought the things I criticized were obvious to everyone.

Because growing up, people always told me I was “stupid” or “just a pretty face,” I became used to it. I always thought everyone else was smarter than me.

If people remember anything, I hope they remember me as: a sharp-tongued, sarcastic, beautiful woman.

11. Is there a perfect “feminist” in your mind?

The future version of ourselves.

Interviewed by: Penny Wei